are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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