I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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