His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
