yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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