I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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