Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
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so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
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The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."