Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina

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(972): 90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina http://tfl.nu/4hnn

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(614): View more from Ohio

If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people

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(614): If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people http://tfl.nu/avir

Replies (19) Good night (4307) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Umm..who the fuck is this?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Oh shit

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(781): Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them? (617): Umm..who the fuck is this? (781): Oh shit http://tfl.nu/ik4c

Replies (54) Good night (1992) Bad night (6280)
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(914): View more from New York

Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.

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(914): Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life. http://tfl.nu/7q9y

Replies (7) Good night (1162) Bad night (3037) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.

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(913): Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals. http://tfl.nu/wv0a

Replies (22) Good night (8236) Bad night (977)
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(518): View more from New York

i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you

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(518): i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you http://tfl.nu/aqjq

Replies (8) Good night (2811) Bad night (1171) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child

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(217): This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child http://tfl.nu/n5f8

Replies (10) Good night (2046) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.

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(678): I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks. http://tfl.nu/fb5x

Replies (8) Good night (2601) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

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(609): Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style. http://tfl.nu/0udf

Replies (6) Good night (1986) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
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(231): View more from Michigan

I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement

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(231): I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2xwy

Replies (6) Good night (1684) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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(775): View more from Nevada

Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha

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(775): Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha http://tfl.nu/7v5q

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

So all in all, a good night.

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(717): You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young. (1-717): So all in all, a good night. http://tfl.nu/c215

Replies (0) Good night (1240) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.

(404): View more from Georgia

Why did I wake up by myself then?

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(404): Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach? (1-404): At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place. (404): Why did I wake up by myself then? http://tfl.nu/82c4

Replies (3) Good night (1269) Bad night (279)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time

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(302): Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time http://tfl.nu/xi83

Replies (0) Good night (883) Bad night (217)
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(801): View more from Utah

NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him

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(801): NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him http://tfl.nu/eloy

Replies (7) Good night (1528) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt

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