Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?

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  (207): I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal? http://tfl.nu/y7ty
  Replies (9) Good night (663) Bad night (759)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

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  (909): I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part. http://tfl.nu/wibn
  Replies (14) Good night (4579) Bad night (596)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.

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  (303): Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina. http://tfl.nu/raau
  Replies (31) Good night (3848) Bad night (850)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at

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  (732): I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at http://tfl.nu/9oei
  Replies (20) Good night (4669) Bad night (544)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.

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  (740): I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies. http://tfl.nu/6rhb
  Replies (35) Good night (7683) Bad night (765)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.

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  (928): Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting. http://tfl.nu/1dh0
  Replies (56) Good night (5612) Bad night (663)
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  (916): View more from California

  We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.

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  (916): We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever. http://tfl.nu/dui8
  Replies (12) Good night (4014) Bad night (1251)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war

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  (989): My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war http://tfl.nu/yle2
  Replies (12) Good night (2622) Bad night (662)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.

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  (910): I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect. http://tfl.nu/cd2m
  Replies (4) Good night (3073) Bad night (767)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.

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  (810): my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities. http://tfl.nu/947a
  Replies (12) Good night (2371) Bad night (601)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay

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  (304): I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay http://tfl.nu/d341
  Replies (18) Good night (620) Bad night (1655)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song

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  (908): Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song http://tfl.nu/uwq0
  Replies (13) Good night (1405) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.

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  (863): We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth. http://tfl.nu/zjcp
  Replies (1) Good night (679) Bad night (383)
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  (805): View more from California

  Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.

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  (805): Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock. http://tfl.nu/vnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.

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  (706): All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated. http://tfl.nu/hsx6
  Replies (2) Good night (870) Bad night (227)

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