I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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