Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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