sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
