Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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