at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
