He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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