Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize