i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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