you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
