I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
