ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
