I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
