her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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