Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
