i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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