why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
