She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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