you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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