I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
