ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
