Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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