im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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