great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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