kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
