I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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