At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im holly from the hills drunk
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
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No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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