Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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