oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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