But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize