Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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