Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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