so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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