He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
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I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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