I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
