You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
People in love make me want to vomit
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
