yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
