My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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