glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
