My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life