yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.