when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
