Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Randomize
