Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
vagina is talking i cant
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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