She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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