I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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