Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
