Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
