All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
