What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
