I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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