I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So apparently I’m into choking now
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